Having played Mario Kart on the Nintendo Wii for a few years now, it struck me that there are lots of lessons one can learn from the game – not just for gaming, but for life itself. Here are mine:
- It’s not always best to be first too early. Some times it’s better to trundle along behind the leader for a bit, then wait until they throw themselves off the track and steal your lead…
- You should never trust men with pointy chins, twirly moustaches and a penchant for purple dungarees.
- Monkeys don’t make good drivers, neither do skeletons, turtles or midget mushroom men.
- If you find a reliable car, don’t chop and change just because you think you might find a better deal. Unless of course Citroen or Ford bring out a ‘Blue Falcon’ model, in which case you should buy one.
- In the road of life, watching out for banana skins and bombs. Oh, and cows don’t help much either.
- Fat Italian plumbers can seem friendly, but they won’t hesitate to shaft you when the going gets tough.
- Mushrooms are evil. As somebody who has never liked mushrooms, this came as no real surprise to me.
- If you find yourself driving along on a space track in space, try not to drive off the sides. Nothing good comes of this.
- Driving on the beach can seem like great fun, but it can be a real pisser when the tide comes in quickly. Oh, and if giant bobbly monsters start attacking you, that never turns out well either.
- And finally… Unlike in Mario Kart, in real life it’s not a good thing to have got 12 points for driving fast!