Ever since we announced our pregnancy to friends, family and the internet, people have been asking both of us “Do you know what it is yet?”. Aside from realising that my stock response of “A human… I hope!” isn’t actually very funny, I’ve noticed a very common response to this question from a lot of people…
As we found out the sex of our baby at the second scan, we’ve been happy enough to tell people “It’s a boy” for some time now. Whether you’re telling somebody who knows us enough to know of Robert’s existence, or if they ask the follow up “Do you have any already?” and find out that yes, we have a little boy, there seems to be a common response. Namely:
“Oh, that’s a shame. Do you think you’ll try for another?”
What the hecking heck does THAT mean?
Presumably having two boys automatically means that we must be disappointed that we won’t have “the full set” (as I’ve also heard people refer to it). Who says we WANT a full set? Am I the only person that finds this more than a little offensive?
Aside from the issue of asking about having another baby BEFORE THIS ONE IS EVEN BLOODY OUT, I’ve known enough people who have had difficulty having ANY child that to think about being picky about the sex seems VERY ungrateful to me. Whatever child we have, I’m just eternally grateful that we’ve been blessed with the gift of children, let alone starting to get picky about whether it’s a blue or pink flavoured kid.
It’s this sort of thing that gets you in to situations where you have four boys and a little girl, and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th boys all have to live with the sneaking suspicion that they were only brought in to the world because their mum wanted a girl – not the sort of psychological baggage that I want to heap on a child, I’ll tell you.
The whole thing also reminds me of that old classic you get when you’re unmarried at a friend’s wedding – “Oh, it’s it lovely – you’ll be next!”. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet thought of a comeback that tops the one about going up to the same old person at a funeral and saying the same thing to them. Any suggestions for snappy comebacks??
5 thoughts on “Fatherhood²: “Two Little Boys” No Longer Good Enough, Apparently”
No, you’re not alone Henry! http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/health/2011/0118/1224287750600.html
My experience was similar (though not as offensive!). When people found out I was expecting a boy 2nd they said “Lucky! so that’s your family complete then!” as if all you have to do is u00a0tick the ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ box once and then you’re’done’. Seemed baffling to many that I might still want a 3rd child and really didnt care what sex they were!
Well said Henry. u00a0I completely agree. u00a0
People are fools.u00a0
This drives me thoroughly bonkers. My dad had two girls, and being Greek people always assumed he was disappointed not to have a boy. Thirty-something years on they still don’t quite believe he didn’t care! (He said to me recently that although he wasn’t remotelyu00a0fussed not to have a boy, if he had he would have liked him to be like my husband but also to like football, which made me laugh).nnCongratulations on bub-to-be. That he is already a thoroughly loved and wanted child before even being born is way more important than anything else.