Today I learnt (to much amusement, I’m ashamed to admit) that somebody I know has an unusual phobia. Now I’m not going to name names here, because I don’t want to see the person in question suffering from unnecessary anxiety (though part of me is quite curious to see what happens!) but the phobia got me thinking…
The phobia in question is Pittakionophobia – the fear of stickers or sticky labels.
Having done a bit of research since, I’ve found out that it’s actually a fairly common phobia – but it lead to a conversation with the person in question about how parenting would be a nightmare for them.
As most parents will know, kids seem to be attracted to stickers like magnets – and they come with virtually everything your kid wants. Books, magazines, toys, fruit, sweets – everything seems to come with stickers!
This discussion got me thinking about what other phobias might make parenting tricky. So I’ve done my research and present for your reading pleasure and amusement: 10 phobias which you might want to get treated before having kids…
The fear of disorder or untidiness. I’ve yet to meet a tidy and organised child, so if you don’t like mess in your life, children are going to present a bit of a nightmare for you!
The fear of clowns. Try as you might (and I think I might suffer from this one myself) it’s hard to avoid clowns when you’re with kids. Parties and soft-play areas are a particular mine-field.
The fear of vomitting, or seeing others vomit. Kids can be vomit machines at certain times, with early milk-feeds being particularly prone to the puke monster. Prepare to be disgusted!
The fear of loud noises. Kids do a lot of screaming and making noise – and not just when they’re squalling babies either. Both of my boys still emit the odd scream and shout on a regular basis.
The fear of bodily excretions or faeces. Probably an obvious one, but kids poo quite a lot. And often when you least expect it. Get ready to get very familiar with the inside of a nappy.
The fear of being/running late. Unless you’re some sort of parenting Jedi master, you’re going to be late for pretty much everything. Better get used to it early, if you’ll excuse the pun.
The fear of cotton wool. You could try just using baby wipes I guess, but you’ll get very dirty looks from your midwife. Apparently there’s a fear of baby wipes, too…
The fear of breasts. Yep, it turns out there’s a phobia for pretty much everything, including one of nature’s greatest creations, the breast. Madness!
The fear of dolls and stuffed toys. Like stickers, kids are attracted to dolls and stuffed/cuddly toys like flies on shit. Just try avoiding them when you’re a parent!
The fear of children. If you’ve got this, you might just want to avoid becoming a parent altogether…