The Mediocre Dad

A blog about being a pretty average dad… and stuff (formerly Henry's Blog)

Menu
  • Home
  • About
  • Camping
  • Family Days Out
  • Sponsorship
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Why celebrate mediocrity?
Menu

Fatherhood: Guest Post – And then there were 4

Posted on February 9, 2015January 7, 2018 by Henry Elliss

image005I don’t write about my children often. I love sharing pictures and amusing stories, but when it comes to anything serious I was always conscious of coming across as one of those people who either never shuts up about their kids, or would imply that a certain method of parenting is better than another.

But I’ve been asked by a few people to write something about my experiences with two children as opposed to one, and was running out of sarcastic excuses not to. So here goes.

I have two daughters aged 2 years and 4 months (Jess). And 4 months (Abby). Despite very little planning on either occasion, they inexplicably share the same birth date of the last day of September. So is having two much more difficult than having one? The short answer is both yes and no.

On the one hand you will be more exhausted than ever before, but on the other you know what you’re doing this time. The worries are gone, much of the stress is also, and I’ve already found myself enjoying what Abby does rather than trying to analyse it at great length which I often did with Jess.

image006From my own experience, there is no bigger, life changing event from when your first child enters the world. It changes every aspect of your life from your relationship, your responsibilities and with the entire way you now look at the world. Having a second does not change your life by anywhere near that level, because you have already been through it and now have a complex baby proofed house full of cushioned corners and hidden knifes.

Having said that, it does change it. Mainly in the fact that where you had little nuggets of free time, stolen lunches and evenings out before… you now literally have none without the aid of grandparents. It also makes leaving the house on a deadline about as challenging as climbing Everest.

But let’s make it clear, this is not a downbeat article. The positives of having a child always outweighed any negatives ten times over for me. With number two that has jumped even further. I long to spend more time with my youngest; I can’t wait for her to get older so I can take her out and show her the world in a way she will understand. I was in the unknown with Jess and that was great, but with Abby I know how much amazing stuff there is to come and I cannot wait to get there with her.

We are lucky that Jess thus far adores Abby. She hugs her twenty times a day, dances for her, talks to her and insists she joins in on all of her card games. Over exuberance is thus far the only real problem we have had on that count. Having children is a strange old experience; you can feel that your life is over one minute and the happiest person on earth twenty minutes later. There are hard days, especially when somebody is ill, and there are easy days, when everything falls into place and you have a glass of wine in your hand by 7:30 with both sound asleep.

image007I was not as sure as my partner (Sarah) was about having a second so soon after the first. A longer age gap would have been easier and Jess did not really understand what was going on when Sarah first got pregnant again (although she was very excited by the end).

Ultimately though, I would not have changed it for the world. Jess’ face when we brought her through to meet Abby for the first time was, hands down, the single greatest moment of my life. Her face of total wonderment and joy was worth a thousand sleepless nights, projectile vomits, carrying both up a hill whilst your partner pushes a buggy and a scooter, tantrums over which socks to wear and cold, regurgitated food that they insist upon feeding to you. It was even worth having to watch Frozen 30 mornings in a row.

“My baby sister” she told me. Frankly, nothing else mattered.

Phill James is a good man, though he talks about football a little too often for my tastes. But if you, like him, love football and well-written rants about the players, you might want to read his (inexplicably named) football blog, The Hindu Monkey. It’s very good, really

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Children
  • easier
  • Guest Post
  • harder
  • hindu monkey
  • Parenting
  • phill james
  • second child
  • sheffield
  • siblings
  • Leave a Reply Cancel reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    henweb

    henweb

    Pun-loving, 👨‍👦‍👦 dad-blogging, 📷 photo-taking, 🏰 Lego-making, 🎅🏿 beard-wearing, 👶 child-caring dad of 2. 💍 Husband of 1. 💩 Strategist

    View Full Profile →

    Instagram Gallery

    Finally, 12 years later, my firstborn child is ear Finally, 12 years later, my firstborn child is earning his keep. Long may it continue.
    Obligatory snowy walk photos. Lovely stuff! Obligatory snowy walk photos. Lovely stuff!
    Tried out a couple of new countryside walks this w Tried out a couple of new countryside walks this weekend, thanks to a new app we found. Both within 2 miles of our house and both very muddy indeed!
    Now you see it... and now you don’t! After over Now you see it... and now you don’t!
After over a decade of dereliction, the old abandoned caravan that sits next to our rear driveway has GONE! We’ve only been here for less than 10% of its reign, but even a few months was enough and I made enquiries about having it removed. Today, just 4 months after I started my attempts, it was taken away. And I am beyond pleased. All I need to do now is tidy the ground up and the whole driveway will be usable again.
    Boxing Day walk. Eldest son not in shot due to bei Boxing Day walk. Eldest son not in shot due to being too cool to walk with us.
    Went for a lovely sunny, winter walk through the n Went for a lovely sunny, winter walk through the nearby @wasing1759 estate. Nice day for it.
    Load More… Follow on Instagram

    A small ad for some stuff




    Subscribe by RSS

    RSS Feed RSS - Posts

    Recent posts

    • Family Camping for Beginners – Camping in the Time of Covid July 14, 2020
    • Family Camping for Beginners – The Ultimate Guide for first time campers July 5, 2020
    • Tips for Throwing a Memorable Goodbye Party June 26, 2020
    • 4 Signs That You Need to Make More Money May 20, 2020
    • Male Pattern Baldness is a Dad’s Worst Nightmare April 21, 2020

    A bigger ad for some stuff

    Recent Comments

    • Family Camping for Beginners - The Ultimate Guide for first time campers | The Mediocre Dad on Family Camping for beginners – Camping Tech & Gadgets
    • Family Camping for Beginners - The Ultimate Guide for first time campers | The Mediocre Dad on Family Camping for beginners – Preparation
    • Family Camping for Beginners - The Ultimate Guide for first time campers | The Mediocre Dad on Fatherhood: Even more camping tips for families
    • Family Camping for Beginners - The Ultimate Guide for first time campers | The Mediocre Dad on Family Camping for beginners – Next Level Camping Gadgets
    • Family Camping for Beginners - The Ultimate Guide for first time campers | The Mediocre Dad on Fatherhood²: 7 Lessons I’ve Learnt After Our First Summer of Camping
    © 2021 The Mediocre Dad | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme